*clutches heart* *gasps for breath* *drowns in an ocean of my own tears*
- Thalia babe I love you to death, you're my light in the dark, but your battle cries are LITERALLY THE MOST CLICHE THINGS.
- THALIA GRACE YOU PRETENTIOUS LITTLE BITCH STOP YELLING "HI-YAH" NOBODY ACTUALLY YELLS "HI-YAH"
-"Behind me, I could hear people screaming. Grover was playing another horrible song on his pipes." B A B E
- "Fortunately, I had always been a pretty good pitcher, even though baseball wasn't my game."
We KNOW, Percy.
You don't have to reaffirm it every other chapter.
You're a basketball guy.
A B-Ball man.
BALL IS LIFE
You're actually young Troy Bolton.
Now stop talking about it and GET ON WITH THE ACTUAL STORY CHILD.
- "Fair is fair, Percy Jackson. Take the fur."
I lifted it up; It was surprisingly light. The fur was smooth and soft. It didn't feel at all like something that could stop a blade. As I watched, the pelt shifted and changed into a coat- a full length golden-brown duster."
So
Are you telling me
For a majority of this book
Percy
looked like
THIS?!?!
- Bow down before the mighty, all-powerful, terrifying, future knowing, life sustaining god: FRED
- Bianca di Angelo sorry not sorry I don't accept your tragic life story bullshit you abandoned your only family so you could run around shooting arrows with a bunch of girls you're a little bitch. *slams the tea kettle of truth back onto the stove top*
- "That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
"Which one is me?" I asked.
"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
"Oh, shut up."
Percy darling I'm sorry but my Queen hath spoken.
- THE APHRODITE SCENE HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA
- Again, I don't care too much that Bianca's dead, but : 'Oh, gods...What was I going to tell Nico?'
SHATTER MY HEART WHY DON'T YOU
- RACHEL. ELIZABETH. DARE. IS. NEAR.
-"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam French fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain!" Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt!"
SUCH A HISTORIC MOMENT IN THE PERCY JACKSON SERIES NEVER FORGET MY COMRADES.
-Awww yiisss Athena
- RED ALERT RED ALERT. RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE HAS ARRIVED
-I concentrated hard and snapped my fingers. "You don't see a sword," I told the girl. "It's just a ballpoint pen."
She blinked. "Um...no. It's a sword, weirdo."
B L E S S
- JESUS CHRIST THESE STATUES I TOTALLY FORGOT
ONE TRIES TO TALK ABOUT HIS SEXUAL EXPLOITS AND THE OTHER IS LIKE "NO STOP THEY ARE CHILDREN" I CAN'T HANDLE THIS
-Nereus spun and expanded, turning into a killer whale, but I grabbed his dorsal fin as he burst out of the water.
A whole bunch of tourists went, "Whoa!"
I managed to wave at the crowd. Yeah, we do this every day here in San Francisco.
-"Mr. D," I said.
He raised his eyebrow.
"You called me by my right name," I said. "You called me Percy Jackson."
"I most certainly did not, Peter Johnson. Now off with you!"
*squeals quietly*
-ZOE MY QUEEN PLEASE DON'T DIE YOU'RE JUST STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THAT NOT ALL MEN ARE MASSIVE DICKS YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS FUCK YOUR FATHER
-LUKE I REFUSE TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW
-Percy babe holding the sky all by your self I'm so proud of you but RICK RIORDAN STOP INFLICTING SO MUCH PAIN ON THIS POOR CHILD UGH
-DR. CHASE BLESS
-"Stars," she whispered. "I can see the stars again, my lady."
A tear trickled down Artemis's cheek. "Yes, my brave one. They are beautiful tonight."
"Stars." Zoe repeated. Her eyes fixed on the night sky. And she did not move again.
NO BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ZOE IS MY QUEEN AND SHE HAS THE MOST HEARTBREAKING DEATH (as of yet) IN THIS SERIES AND I SHOULDN'T BE CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I MUST HAVE READ THIS BOOK AT LEAST 11 TIMES BEFORE BUT I'LL PROBABLY BE UPSET OVER THIS FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS IF I'M BEING HONEST.
"Let the world honor you, my Huntress," Artemis said. "Live forever in the stars."
ARRRRGGGGHHHH.
- Remember when Percy wanted to tell Annabeth he loved her but then Athena threatened him? Fuckity Bye.
-"Hey! Where's...where's my sister?" FUCK.
- That moment where baby Nico starts to turn into the Nico we know now and I am HYPERVENTILATING
-"I can't let Nico be in any more danger," I said. "I owe that much to his sister. I...let them both down. I'm not going to let that poor kid suffer anymore."
Well, Percy, you really messed up on that promise.
wAIT
MOTHER FUCKING SHIT COULD THAT SOMEHOW BE THE OATH TO KEEP TO THE FINAL BREATH?!?!?! RICK DON'T YOU DARE. SHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT.
- I FINISHED THE BOOK BUT MY EMOTIONS ARE AGAINST ME HOW DO I NUMB MYSELF UGH
Oh no. Molly, that's the promise. Nico is going to die.
ReplyDeleteIAN DON'T YOU DARE
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