THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS

IT'S HERE.
IT'S HERE AND IT'S MINE.
I AM SO EXCITED BUT I CAN ALREADY TELL I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. MY LIFE IS NOW A DOWNWARD SPIRAL
(Also I'm very much aware I didn't do House of Hades but I've read that so much that it's completely fresh in my mind and I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS BOOK ANY LONGER SO DEAL WITH IT)

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- Jason hated being old.

Mother of God please don't let the opening sentence be foreshadowing.


-Why is this the shortest book in the series.

-PIPER MCQUEEN DEFEATING A FLOCK OF HARPIES ALL NY HERSELF

-JASON IS HAVING DREAMS ABOUT MAMA GRACE AND WAKING UP IN TEARS HELP ME

-Jason sweetheart can you please stop having Nico feels because you are giving me Nico feels and I HAVE ENOUGH OF THOSE ALREADY THANK YOU

-Now all he had was an old man's body, a stick, and two friends in slinky dresses.

This series continues it's reign of glory in the "Best Out of Context Sentences" Olympics.

-JASON.
JASON YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE MY FRIEND.

-"That Penelope was a hot little honey cake!"

Yeah...I'm sure that's how they phrased it in Ancient Greece...

-OH SHIT MICHEAL VARUS COMING TO FUCK SHIT UP

- OH FUCKING SHIT MAMA GRACE HAS ARRIVED YO

-I want to hug Jason very tightly right now THIS BOY NEEDS TO BE HUGGED

-JASON GRACE IF YOU COULD NOT GET STABBED THROUGH THE FUCKING HEART THAT'D BE AWESOME

-Piper caught his shoulders as he keeled sideways. "Whoa, Sparky. We need to contact the Argo II, get help."
"You haven't called me Sparky in a long time."
Piper kissed his forehead. "Stick with me and I'll insult you all you want."

Oh God my heart.

-Jason managed a weak smile. "At least it wasn't a head injury this time. I stayed conscious the whole fight."

This is an emotional scene I should not be laughing xD Oh, Jason. At least your skull is thick.

-REYNA POINT OF VIEW.
I DON'T THINK MY BODY IS READY.

-Oh my goodness the Athena Parthenos Trio is already a complete train wreck MY CHILDREN.

-MY QUEEN HAS MAGIC POWERS

-OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED IN ALBANIA I NEED TO KNOW

-Oh my God Reyna is getting sister feels for Nico mayday mayday MAYDAY

-Octavian you little shit.

-This little fucker Bryce is gonna cause a lot of shit I can feel it

-Octavian lost the ability to see the future lawl

-Hazel Levesque...that girl was something. As soon as Leo rejoined the crew in Malta, she'd known right away that Leo was hurting inside. The first chance she got, after all that mess in the House of Hades, she'd marched into Leo's cabin and said, "Spill."

HAZEL IS MY EVERYTHING OMG

-JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL I'M TOO OVERCOME WITH LEO AND CALYPSO FEELS OHMYGOD LEO IS PRECIOUS AND HE DESERVES TO FIND HER I SHOULDN'T FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS BUT I CAN LITERALLY HEAR MY HEART SQUEALING.

-After Coach Hedge left on his shadow-travel expedition, Leo had decided that his three-legged table could do just as good a job as their "adult chaperone". He had laminated Buford's tabletop with a magic scroll that projected a pint-sized holographic simulation of Coach Hedge. Mini-Hedge would stomp around on Buford's top, randomly saying things like "CUT THAT OUT!" "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" and the ever-popular "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

I JUST FELL OFF MY BED FROM LAUGHTER

-"Maybe that's the problem," Jason said. "If the goddess of victory is running rampant, torn between Greek and Roman, she might make it impossible to bring the two camps together."
"How?" Leo asked. "Start a flame war on Twitter?"

OH MY GOD.

-JASON AND PERCY ARE LITERALLY CALLING EACHOTHER BRO THIS IS WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED

-We now have cannon confirmation that both Percy and Leo watch Doctor Who. BLESS.

-UM UM UM THERE IS NOW WRITTEN CONFIRMATION THAT LEO WAS ABUSED BY HIS FOSTER FAMILIES SHIT NO MY BABY

-"Lady," he said, "could you fold your flappers, please? You're giving me a sunburn."

LEO THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ADDRESS AN ANCIENT GODDESS THAT HAS A SPEAR TRAINED ON YOU.

-"Oh, no!" Hazel wailed. "Popcorn! Our fatal weakness!"

This isn't a real book.

-PERCY JUST PROMISED LEO HE'D HELP HIM FIND CALYPSO THIS MAKES MY HEART SMILE

-Leo. Frank. Hazel. Percy.
My children.
It is one thing to literally kidnap a goddess.
But stuffing a sock in her mouth, duck taping her and threatening to let a horse eat her wings?
Guys.

-O God.
Oh my God.
NICO'S POINT OF VEIW.

-Nico and Clovis have a hidden bromance excuse me?

-"Getting some redecorating ideas?" Nico asked. "Maybe you could do your dining room in medieval monk skulls."
Hades arched an eyebrow. "I can never tell when you're joking."

Staaaaaahhhhhhhhpppp

-HADES KNOWS THAT NICO'S GAY, ACCEPTS IT, RESPECTS THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL READY TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND HE JUST WANTS NICO TO BE HAPPY.
GIVE THIS GOD AN AWARD CAUSE I'M CRYING.

-Hey, I'll get Percy to swim in the River Styx! He'll love me for that!

INHUMAN NOISES

-DID NICO JUST GET BIT BY A WEREWOLF??????? RICK NO

-PIPER GAVE FRANK A MAKEOVER I'M SCREAMING

-Why is the Hermes giant a mobster omg

-I just realized the giants are like the anti-fairies from Fairy Odd Parents.

-This is the Piper/Annabeth moment that so many slash shippers have waited for omg.

-NICO GOT RID OF HIS AVIATOR JACKET OMG NO

- T H A L I A

-The Amazons planning world domination is still my favorite thing tbh

-NICO DI ANGELO IS IN A BRIGHTLY COLORED TROPICAL SHIRT
THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

-PERSEUS JACKSON IF YOU COULD NOT GET POISIONED RIGHT NOW THAT'D BE GREAT

-Aannnnnnnddd Polybotes just got decapitated. Awesome!

-"Are you kidding me? I'm breathing in Dylan?"

JASON BABE I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BUT I JUST LAUGHED VERY LOUDLY

-PERCY JUST ADMITTED TO A SUICIDE ATTEMPT

-NICO YOU NEED TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER FETUS BECAUSE I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
(Also he was obsessed with Pirates awwwwww)

-I'M SORRY BUT HADES GAVE NICO A FRENCH ZOMBIE NAMED JULES-ALBERT TO BE HIS CHAUFFEUR AND THIS IS THE GREATEST PIECE OF INFORMATION I HAVE EVER RECIEVED

- Reyna baby awww

-AND HER COMES THE BRYCE FUCKER TO START SHIT

-Nico sweetheart please don't dissolve into nothing that could be problematic

-OH SHIT YOU GO NICO

-THEY'RE ALL EATING ICE CREAM AND BEING CUTE THIS CALM BEFORE THE STORM SHIT IS STRESSING ME OUT

-it broke Leo's feels.

I'M LITERALLY DONE HERE.

-Ayyyyy Apollo (Why wouldn't you send Percy to talk to Apollo. They have a bromance)

-Are Apollo and Artemis going through the 7th Grade emo phase right now

-The Valdezinator

-Leo, Jason and Piper are killing this thing with inspiration from their times playing Mario Party Six HELP ME

-YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE BEEN MENTALLY ENVISIONING JASON IN GLASSES SINCE DAY ONE AND NOW IT'S CANNON. BLESS. DREAMS DO COME TRUE. HE MUST LOOK SO HOT.

-TYSON TO THE RESCUE

-Oh shit the siege on CHB has started I need someone to hold me

-PERCY YOU DON'T JUST LET SNAKE MEN ON YOUR SHIP BECAUSE THEY HAVE CAKE

-"Like your zodiac sign?" Percy asked. "I'm a Leo."
"No, stupid," Leo said. "I'm a Leo. You're a Percy."

Oh my God.

-HELL YEAH PIPER MY BEAAUTIFUL CHEROKEE AMERICAN IDOL

-"And my dad's relatives...I haven't thought about them in years. I have an Uncle and cousin in Boston."
Percy looked shocked. "You, with the Yankees cap? You've got family in Red Sox country?"
Annabeth smiled weakly. "I never see them. My dad and my uncle don't get along. Some old rivalry. I don't know. It's stupid what keeps people apart."

MAGNUS CHASE I'VE GOT YOU YOU LITTLE FUCKER.

-PERCY FINALLY SAID I LOVE YOU TO ANNABETH AND I'M CRYING

-PERSEUS JACKSON AND ANNABETH CHASE HOW DARE YOU ACTUALLY ALLOW YOURSEVES TO GET CAPTURED BY THE FUCKING GIANTS THAT WANT TO SACRIFICE YOU

-SLAY, PIPER, SLAY.

-Piper's biggest advantages: she was small, she was quick, and she was absolutely insane.

MY INSPIRATION AND MY SPIRIT I BELIEVE IN YOU GIRL I'D FOLLOW YOU INTO NOTHINGNESS

-OH MOTHERFUCK GAEA IS AWAKE RETREAT RETREAT RE-FUCKING-TREAT

-SWEET JESUS LORD ALMIGHTY IS RICK ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE WILL SOLACE AND NICO A CANNON SHIP SEND HELP MY HEART ISN'T BEATING

-JESUS HE IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE THIS CANNON OH MY GOODNESS THERE IS A SHRIEK BUBBLING IN MY THROAT BUT I DON'T WANT TO SCARE M ROOMMATE UGH

-THE GODS ARE HERE

-MY KICK ASS BABIES

-REYNA AND PIPER ARE HAVING A BROMANCE

-OH MY GOD THE ROMANS ARE CALLING OUT ALL THESE ORGANIZED ATTACKS AND PERCY JUST YELLED "GREEKS! LET'S, UM, FIGHT STUFF!"

-from Festus's back, Leo blasted the goddess with flames of his own and hurled insults. "Pottly Sludge! Dirt Face! THIS IS FOR MY MOTHER, ESPERANZA VALDEZ!"

WOOO LEO YOU GO BABE

-LEO YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF A BADASS MOTHER FUCKER AND I HAVE NEVER LOVED A CHARACTER THE WAY I LOVE YOU ALRIGHT

-Travis Stoll ran past, arguing with his brother. "What do you mean we set the land mines on the wrong hill?"

G U Y S

-OCTAVIAN IS FINALLY DEAD AND IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL AND MAGICAL DEATH BLESS EVERYTHING

-HEDGE AND MELLIE NAMED THE BABY CHUCK AWWWW

-Nico and Hazel continue to crush my soul with cuteness. Also FRANK IS GOING TO LIVE A LONG TIME

-Jason's glasses are still my fAVORITE THING

-JASON AND NICO ARE BROHUGGING

-NICO TOLD PERCY
N I C O  T O L D  P E R C Y
NICO TOLD PERCY

-ANNABETH HIGH FIVED HIM AFTER HE TOLD PERCY

-LEO BROUGHT HIMSELF BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE HE IS GENUINELY BETTER THAN EVERYONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

-Leo whooped so loudly they probably heard him in China. "YEAH! WHO DIED? WHO CAME BACK? WHO'S YOUR FREAKIN' SUPERSIZED McSHIZZLE NOW, BABY? WOOOOOOOOO!"

I'm crying tears of joy help.

-LEO AND CALYPSO ARE REUNITED AND MY HEART IS GRINNING AND THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES HELP.

-OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDDD I FINISHED IT

THAT WAS FUCKING PHENOMNENAL

T O M O R R O W

GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-------

-Piper wants the D

-Percy wore pajama pants and a bronze breastplate, which was an interesting fashion statement.

But even with the breastplate

He was still

shirtless.

-JASON BABE WHEN SPEAKING TO HERCULES RULE ONE IS TO NOT MENTION HERA ARE YOU KIDDING ME HERE CHILD

-Jason was trying to read the guidebook while they walked, so he kept running into trees and stumbling over rocks.

 No but I love this and I love Jason he's such a little dork xD

-Rick uses Books vs. Scrolls to tackle the Books vs. Ebooks debate...okay...

- "a b-book" Oh my God I'm so confused as to why he felt the need to address this xD

-Yes hello Ancient River god, could you please stop trying to force a 15 year old girl to marry you against her will?

-CHRYSAOR HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SCENE.
IT MESSED PERCY UP SO MUCH.
I REALLY HOPE HE RETURNS TO FUCK SHIT UP IN BOO

-"Medusa is your mom?" he asked. "Dude, that sucks for you."

PERCY.
PERSEUS JACKSON.
YOU DON'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP NOW OR HE'LL DECAPITATE YOU SWEETHEART.

-"Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!"

Actual dialogue but I'm not sure this is an actual book.

-

 

ALERT: THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS A REAL BOOK.

 

-"I know you," she said.

And you like me anyway? Percy wanted to ask, but he held it back.

 

Oh my heart was just ripped out of my chest. No big deal or anything. No but okay after all these years Percy's self-worth is even less than it was in the Lightning Thief and it's becoming a problem. I need this kid to like one thing about himself before I die.

(Of course he doesn't have any fucking chapters in Blood of Olympus so now we'll never know)

 

 

 

-That's when Leo made the mistake of simply being too good.

Sweetheart.

-Once he'd even reprogrammed the electronic billboards in Times Square to read: ALL DA LADIES LUV LEO...accidentally, of course.

E X C U S E  M E

-"What are we, kids?" Jason asked.
Hedge snorted. "Kids are baby goats. They're cute, and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids."

CHOKING.

-Remember how Jason spent the first 15 years of his life not even knowing when his birthday is?

heh.
Heh.
HEH.
*sobs*

-He pleaded with those sea-green eyes, like a cute baby seal that needed help. Piper wondered how Annabeth ever one an argument with this guy.

#NeverForget No but I love how Percy doesn't think he's above pulling puppy dog eyes xD He does it all the time

-Percy gripped the satyr's arm. "Hazel and the others need you here. When they get back, they'll need your leadership. You're their rock."
"Yeah." Jason managed to keep a straight face. "Leo always says you're his rock."

JASON YOU LITTLE SHIT (I can't stop laughing)

-Remember when Jason drowned but Percy literally ripped the water out of his lungs and revived him

-THE WONDER BREAD IS SO COMPLETELY RANDOM OH MY GOD. JUST IMAGINE ROME BURNING TO THE GROUND AS SOMEONE JUST STANDS THERE AND THROWS PACKAGES OF WONDER BREAD AT EVERYONE.
LITERALLY WHAT EVEN

-Percy looked at his friends. "I'm getting tired of this guy's shirt."
"Combat time?" Piper gripped her horn of plenty.
"I hate Wonder bread." Jason said.
Together, they charged.

-PERCY AND JASON'S BROMANCE GOD BLESS

-Attack plan: Yell insults about ballet.

Sound's solid.

- NICO BABY

-ANNABABE YOU ARE MY FOREVER GIRL

-Percy tightened his grip on Annabeth's wrist. His face was gaunt, scrapped and bloody, his hair dusted with cobwebs, but when he locked eyes with her, she thought he had never looked more handsome.
"We're staying together," he promised. "You're not getting away from me. Never again."
Only then did she understand what would happen. A one-way trip. A very hard fall.
"As long as we're together," she said.
She heard Nico and Hazel still screaming for help. She saw the sunlight far, far above- maybe the last sunlight she would ever see.
Then Percy let go of his tiny ledge, and together, holding hands, he and Annabeth fell into the endless darkness.

Oh...It's not like I needed my heart in one piece or anything. Or my soul. Take that too, why don't you. It's not like I need to present myself as an emotionally stable person even though I'm dying on the inside. (Fun fact: When I first read this scene, it was also the first time in my life I've ever thrown a book across the room.)

- I finished, but I am not in one piece.

sOMEONE HELP ME

TODAY IS S U N D A Y
TOMORROW IS M O N D A Y
THE NEXT DAY IS T U E S D A Y AND BLOOD OF OLYMPUS WILL BE OUT
I CAN NOT HANDLE THIS.
TWO DAYS UNTIL EVERYTHING ENDS.
MY LIFE IS A DOWNWARD SPIRAL.


------------

- The aquarium scene actually breathes life into my soul though okay like everything about it is FLAWLESS

- Percy and Frank are trapped inside of a giant fish tank, and somewhere Poseidon is sighing heavily.

- PERCY DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE WATER OKAY I'M REALLY WORRIED THAT THAT'S FORESHADOWING

- Frank: *Turns into a gigantic goldfish*
Percy and Poseidon: * S I G H *

- COACH HEDGE TO THE RESCUE
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

-Hazel gets Black Pride and Jason gets uncomfortable. Bless

- THE CHINESE HANDCUFFS.

-"Well done, Frank Zhang," Leo said dryly, doing his impression of Chiron the centaur. "That is exactly how people beat Chinese handcuffs. They turn into iguanas."
 Is this book even real?

- BUFORD IS THE REAL STAR OF THIS BOOK LET'S BE REAL

-Grand buildings made her feel better- maybe because being in a place so permanent made her feel more permanent.

That....That just really hurt me omg

- FRANK ASKING ANNABETH FOR HELP BECAUSE HE TRUSTS PERCY AND PERCY TRUSTS ANNABETH I'M FANGIRLLING

-"Aphrodite," she said.
"Venus?" Hazel asked in amazement.
"Mom," Piper said, with no enthusiasm.
"Girls!" The goddess spread her arms like she wanted a group hug.
The three demigods did not oblige. Hazel backed into a palmetto tree.

Rejected.

-Very slowly, using only two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water.
Octavian made a squeaking sound. "What was that for? I didn't sat toss it! That could've been evidence. Or spoils of war!"
Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to but it. He huffed in exasperation.
"You other two..." He pointed his blade at Hazel and Piper. "Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus-"
All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth's dagger.
"You dropped this," he said, totally poker-faced.

*SQUEAL*

-Unpopular Opinion: Yes, what happened with the spiders was terrible for baby Annabeth. But I think she's been way too over dramatic about her stepmother. I can see it from her point of view at 7, but 12? 13? 14? 15? 16? Hell no. Her stepmother has literally done nothing wrong. It's just Annabeth being bratty. *fades into shadows to avoid being murdered by the Cult of Annabeth*

-Sammy held out his elbow like a gentleman, but Hazel pushed him away playfully. "Thanks for being there, Sammy."
"Miss Lamarr, I will always be there for you!" he said brightly.

I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I am not crying.

-"Hello, Hazel Levesque," he said, his voice gravelly.

I'm crying. I'm crying. I AM CRYING. I AM CRYING SO HARD.

-BLESS THE FISH CENTAURS

-Piper went a little crazy. She cried out in relief and dove straight into the water.
What was she thinking? She didn't take a rope or life vest or anything. But at the moment, she was just so happy that she paddled over to Leo and kissed him on the cheek, which kind of surprised him.
"Miss me?" Leo laughed.
Piper was suddenly furious. "Where were you? How are you guys alive?"
"Long story," he said. A picnic basket bobbed to the surface next to him. "Want a brownie?"

Literally the greatest omg

-"Incredible," Jason said. "These are really good brownies."
"That's your only comment?" Piper demanded.
He looked surprised. "What? I heard the story." Fish-centaurs. Merpeople. Letter of intro to the Tiber River god. Got it. But these brownies--"
"I know," Frank said, his mouth full. "Try them with Esther's peach preserves."
"That," Hazel said, "is incredibly disgusting."
"Pass me the jar, man," Jason said.
Hazel and Piper exchanged a look of total exasperation. Boys.
Percy, for his part, wanted to hear every detail of the aquatic camp. He kept coming back to one point: "They didn't want to meet me?"
"It wasn't that," Hazel said. "Just...undersea politics, I guess. The merpeople are territorial. The good news is they're taking care of that aquarium in Atlanta. And they'll help protect the Argo II as we cross the Atlantic."
Percy nodded absently. "But they didn't want to meet me?"

                   1) I want these fucking brownies I'm so hungry.
                   2) JASON AND FRANK ARE EMBODIMENTS OF MY SPIRIT
                   3) I love how Piper and Hazel literally have an Us vs. Them thing all the time.
                   4) PERCY SWEETHEART DON'T WORRY I'M SURE THE FISH CENTAURS WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU DON'T FEEL SAD PERCY YOU ARE VERY PRETTY I PROMISE

T H E M A R K O F A T H E N A

THREE DAYS LEFT HELP ME

Okay no though like I LOVE this. It's the first time all the heroes are together and they just click beautifully, it's so amazing to watch them figure out how to be friends and work together as a team. The story flows so well and just so much happens ugh yas let's get started
-----

-ANNABETH POV

-Remember how everyone was predicting a really sappy and romantic Percabeth reunion and then Annabeth literally judo flips him and threatens his life

_I have never seen Percy hate anyone as much as he hates Octavian omg

-Blowing up New Rome. Solid way to make peace.

-Jason tried to shield Piper, but a brick caught him above the eye.

THE BEGINING OF THE EPIC LOVE STORY.
#BRASON #TRULUV #THEGREATESTOTP





































SUCH LOVE. SUCH BEAUTY. YES. #OTP


-Awwww Leo wants Annabeth to trust him

- Echo hurts my heart...

-Remember when Rick Riordan made fun of his fans in the book....xD

-TEAM LEO
THE SUPER-SIZED MCSHIZZLE
MY BREATH HAS BEEN STOLEN
THIS CHILD IS SO IMPORTANT
(I think my roommate thinks I'm crazy right now but I can't stop laughing help)

-I want to know what happened on Percy, Annabeth and Frank's tar adventure

-PERCY AND JASON AT THE CHAIR

-John Green you have been CALLED OUT and I expect you to call Riordan right back in your next book.
(Also now forever imaging Jason growing up to make vlogs with Leo or something that usually entails him covering his face with sharpie or peanut butter and throwing himself into a wall to test if he's a squid)

-Piper and Jason walked back and forth along the deck. Jason was still wobbly, so Piper encouraged him to wrap his arm around her for support

Piper you sly lil' dog. I'm on to you  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-THE STABLE SCENE, BE STILL MY HEART.

Four Days Until Blood of Olympus. We can do this guys.

NOT BREATHING PROPERLY.


-------------

- Phineas tho

- E L L A

- PERCY JACKSON DAMMIT STOP BETTING YOUR LIFE AWAY
 (seriously though Blood of Olympus better have Percy suddenly realize that he's worth something and his friends love him. Or at least someone figuring out how he feels and starting to help him because AFTER TEN DAMN YEARS THIS BOY NEEDS TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT)

- I know Gaea's been trying to talk to all of them in their minds, but the fact that Percy actively responds worries me...

-I LOVE ELLA SO MUCH

-THE AMAZONS SCENE.
BLESS.

-So apparently RR believes that Amazon is plotting to take over the world and the male gender as a whole is completely doomed to become slaves to women...Probably true. I could get behind that.

-I'm slightly uncomfortable with the Amazons trying to explain their view of men to a 13 year old girl...

- Hazel thinks tablets are secret Amazon technology I'm gonna cry

- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS HAZEL

-Frank knew this hill.
"I'm practically home," he said. "My grandmother's house is right over there."
Hazel squinted. "How far?"
"Just over the river and through the woods."
Percy raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? To Grandmother's house we go?"

 Actual dialogue in an actual book and I'm actually dying of laughter. Halp.

-"What are these guys?" he whispered.
"Canadians," Percy said.
Frank leaned away from him. "Excuse me?"

 BUT THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND I WILL NEVER STOP LAUGHING. FOREVER IMAGINING FRANK LIKE:
 

-"But every hero has a fatal flaw. Percy Jackson? He's too loyal to his friends. He can't give them up, not for anything. He was told that, years ago. And someday soon, he's going to have to face a sacrifice that he can't make. Without you, Frank- without your sense of duty- he's going to fail. The whole war will go sideways, and Gaea will destroy the world."

AAAHAHSHSHDHAFHFHAHFWjszfjksxfjcjfhhaaAAAAJAHHHHHHH

I HAVE LITERALLY LOST SLEEP OVER THIS OKAY. UGH.

- Life Goals: Grandmother Zhang

-He's killing giant cannibals by throwing potatoes at them is this book even real

-Okay these things are giants but Frank keeps referring to them as ogres and now I have a mental image of Percy mowing down a million Shreks as the water system erupts and a whole group of shreks are chasing after the speeding car screeching "This is OUR swamp!!!"

-Hazel did something he wasn't expecting. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. It was a totally sisterly kiss. But she smiled with such affection, it warmed Percy right down to his feet.

 NO OKAY THEY HAVE SUCH A CUTE RELATIONSHIP AND THERE WAS BARELY ANY OF IT IN MARK OF ATHENA AND HOUSE OF HADES. RICK IT BETTER BE IN BLOOD OF OLYMPUS OR SO HELP ME

-TYSON MY PRECIOUS

- Seeing them like that made Percy happy. Those two definitely needed to get together.

#NoOneShipsFrazelLikePercyJackson #PercysFuckingOTP #IfGaeaMessesWithHisOTPHeGonnaMessHerUp

-Frank hovered over them, yelling, "Oh, gods! Oh, gods! Oh, gods!"
 He yanked some extra clothes from his bag and started toweling of Hazel's face, but it didn't do much good. He dragged Percy farther from the muskeg.
"You were down there so long!" Frank cried. "I didn't think- oh, gods, don't ever do something like that again!"
He wrapped Hazel in a bear hug.
"Can't---breathe," she choked out.
"Sorry!" Frank went back to toweling and fussing over them.

 TEAM. MOM.

- NOTHING HAS EVER UPSET ME MORE THAN HAZEL GOING TO THE WAREHOUSE SHE USED TO LIVE IN AND FINDING ALL HER DRAWINGS AND PICTURES STILL THERE.

THAT'S LITERALLY JUST FUCK CRUEL.

-YAS PERCY! THAT'S RIGHT, BABY, YOU MAKE THEM HURRICANES!

-"If I'm going to burn, it might as well be bright."

*clutches heart in pain*

-"As for you, Frank Zhang, it isn't your time, either. You've got a little fuel left to burn."

LITTLE???? *punches wall and sobs uncontrollably*

-"Welcome to Canada, idiot."

- Percy and Frank's bromance gives me life though. Like, you just KNOW Percy spends a massive amount of time telling people that Frank is "totally beast" while Frank just groans in embarrassment

-TYSON AND ELLA

- Dat battle tho

-YAAAASSS TERMINUS

-Remember that time Kinzie offered to become Percy's dominatrix

-Octavian can you NOT

-GIVE ME PERCABETH OR GIVE ME DEATH

-Annnnddd finished!

BLOOD OF OLYMPUS IN 5 DAYS/ SON OF NEPTUNE/ HEART PALPATATIONS

I CAN'T.

----------

- Friendly reminder that Hazel thought Percy was a god

- Nico di Angelo you are HURTING MY FEELINGS

- *whispers* Nico was one of the first people to go looking for Percy. Nico was determined to find Percy. Nico never gave up looking for Percy.....Just like Percy was when Annabeth went missing in Titan's Curse....

-and then Nico finds him but the little twat has amnesia

- Nico and Hazel make my soul ache send help

- Ugh Sammy nooo

- Pluto: Shows up on Hazel's 13th birthday and gives her some colored pencils and a pad of paper. Congratulates himself on being father of the year. Leaves and never returns.

  Hades: Literally helps raise Bianca and Nico. Does everything in his power to keep them safe from his brother's wrath. Freezes them in time so they'll be safe. Doesn't forget about them. Mourns Bianca's death but make sure she gets Elysium with her mother. Breaks a bunch of ancient laws and has Nico move in with him. Raises Nico. Gives Nico important jobs in the Underworld. Worries about Nico. Allows Nico to convince him to help his family. Confides secret powerful information with Nico. Acts like an actual parent with Nico.

.........


- OHMYGOD I LOVE THE DINNER/THE WAR GAMES SCENE UGH IT GIVES ME MANY EMOTIONS.

-DO YOU GUYS REALIZE THAT FRANK AND HAZEL ARE THE FIRST PEOPLE TO EVER ACCEPT PERCY AS A FRIEND RIGHT OFF THE BAT??? UGH MY HEART

-DON THE FAUN
BRING BACK DON THE FAUN
I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT HIM BUT HE'S SO IMPORTANT OHMYGOD

- Octavian can you not

-He uncovered the boat, his hands working the knots like he'd been doing it his whole life. Under the tarp was an old steel rowboat with no oars. The boat had been painted dark blue at one point, but the hull was so crusted with tar and salt it looked like one massive nautical bruise. On the bow, the name Pax was still readable, lettered in gold. Painted eyes drooped sadly at water level, as if the boat were about to fall asleep. On board were two benches, some steel wool, and old cooler, and a mound of frayed rope with one end tied to the mooring. At the bottom of the boat, a plastic bag and two empty Coke cans floated in several inches of scummy water.
"Behold," Frank said. "The mighty Roman navy."

(I'm sorry but this is still the best line in the whole series omg crying)


-They sped by a pack of sea lions lounging on the docks, and she swore she saw an old homeless guy sitting among them. From across the water, the old man pointed a bony finger at Percy and mouthed something like Don't even think about it.

 I vividly remember first reading this part in the middle of a class and making a rather inhuman noise as I tried to hold in my laughter. Still so funny omg

- TEAM MOM FRANK ZHANG TO THE RESCUE WITH CRACKERS, NECTAR AND PRESCRIPTIONS OF GINGER

- No but you literally don't understand
Hazel was a tiny little 13 year old girl
And she literally sacrificed her life
This little tiny 13 year old girl drowned to death in oil and her body was crushed by rocks
UGH.

- Can we talk about how strategic Percy is being about trying to get Frank and Hazel together? He's on sneaky little shit. He is literally the ultimate shipper.

- Percy sweetheart can you please refrain from having a mental break down right now you are worrying your pseudo mother

BLOOD OF OLYMPUS IS IN SIX DAYS AND I'M JUST STARTING SON OF NEPTUNE

Son of Neptune. DAMMIT I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH. Not only do we get Percy back, but he's grown up so much since we last saw him that it's amazing. And we are introduced to FRANK AND HAZEL. THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT. THEY ARE ADORABLE AND DEADLY AT THE SAME TIME. HAZEL AND FRANK COULD KILL YOU, WATCH THE BLOOD DRAIN FROM YOUR BODY, AND THEN MAKE FLOWER CROWNS AND HAVE A PICKNICK OVER YOUR FRESH GRAVE. Ugh, the team dynamic in this book is magical. I just love it. I love it so much. I need the three of them to be the golden trio again in Blood of Olympus.

Okay, let's start.
-----------

- Petition to never let Percy forget that he actually stole and destroyed a police car

- Jack in the Crack burrito

- Perseus Jackson I am on page five and I am already exasperated with you

- Beano. Percy, come on man

- I feel like one day someone is going to offer Percy some 'Crispy Cheese 'n' Weiners' and he's just going to burst into tears xD

-Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

 Now do you know how many damn people have probably put this on name tags? omg

- Percy is just making me feel like a nervous mother send help

-He put the platter behind his butt, said a silent prayer to whatever Roman god oversaw stupid sledding tricks, and jumped off the side of the hill.
PERSEUS JACKSON OUT OF ALL THE CRAZY SHIT YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH, OUT OF ALL THE STUPID STUNTS, THIS IS DEFINITELY IN THE TOP FIVE. CHILD YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY MEMORIES WHY WOULD YOU JUMP OFF A CLIFF WITH NO MEMORIES ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME. IF IT WAS JUST A DAMN HILL I MIGHT ALLOW THIS BUT YOU SOAR OVER AN APPARTMENT BUILDING AND INTO HEAVY RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU SURRVIVED BUT I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF.

-Then he thought about Annabeth, the only part of hid old life he was sure about. He had to find her.

Deep breaths, Molly.
There are people in your room, Molly.
You can not start screaming and squealing like a crazed fan girl right now, Molly.
GET IT TOGETHER MOLLY.
CONCEAL, DON'T FEEL, DON'T LET THEM SEE.

-"House gods," Percy said. "Like...smaller than real gods, but larger than apartment gods?"

CHILD.

- Frank my darling come to me

-"First things first," Reyna said.
SHE'S THE REALIST

Quickly Finishing The Lost Hero even though BLOOD OF OLYMPUS IN SIX DAYS

*heavy breathing*

-(I've read the Wind God scene already so let me take a moment to freak out because HEDGE AND MELLIE OHMYGOD THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOON BUT I JUST WATCHED THEM MEET AGAIN SOMEONE HOLD ME

- This is the only time Aphrodite doesn't come off as an annoying giggly mass of glitter.
Why is this the only time.
I really like the Piper/Aphrodite scene dammit

- WAIT SHIT SHE JUST SAID MEDEA WILL COME BACK IF THAT BITCH MESSES THINGS UP IN BLOOD OF OLYMPUS SO HELP ME

- I'm sorry but I just aggressively don't care about Piper's father omg

- I love how Aphrodite dressed them for battle and told Piper she approves of Jason at the same time omg. This one needs no improvement. I AGREE WITH PIPER HOT DAMN JASON IS BAE

-"Climb the mountain.," Hedge said. "Kill everything except Piper's dad. Leave."
"Thank you, General Eisenhower." Jason grumbled

- I'm so sorry but the earthborn keep shouting vroom vroom and I just
Get out me car

-"Don't die on me," she ordered. "You are not dying on me."
"Yes, ma'am." He felt light-headed, but she was about the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her hair was smoldering. Her face was smudged with soot. She had a cut on her arm, her dress was torn, and she was missing a boot. Beautiful.

*squeals to death*

- His mom's voice echoed in his head: Nothing is unfixable.
Except the fact that you're gone forever, Leo thought.

Rip my heart out, why don't you?

-Anyone else imagine Porphyrion as the green giant guy? Like...

Ho-Ho-Ho....I am Porphyrion, king of the giants, son of Gaea. In olden times, I rose from Tartarus, the abyss of my father, to challenge the gods. To start the war, I stole Zeus's queen...I was created to be Zeus's replacement, born to destroy the lord of the sky. I shall take his throne. I shall take his wife- or, if she will not have me, I will let the earth consume her life force. What you see before you, child, is only my weakened form. I will grow stronger by the hour, until I am invincible. But I am already quite capable of smashing you into a grease spot!

Now... EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING VEGETABLES, YOU PUNY HUMAN SCUM.

 

 

-"I'm the son of Jupiter!" he shouted, and just for effect, he summoned the winds, rising a few feet off the ground. "I'm a child of Rome, consul to demigods, praetor of the First Legion...I slew the Trojan sea monster, I toppled the black throne of Kronos, and destroyed the Titan Krios with my own hands. And now I'm going to destroy you, Porphyrion, and feed you to your own wolves."

 

'Jason is so useless.' 'Jason can't do anything except get head injuries.' 'Jason is just trying so hard to be Percy.' 'Jason can't do anything right.' 'Jason is the weakest of the seven.' 'Jason is a douchbag.'  'Jason thinks he's so strong when he's never done anything.' 'I hate Jason Grace.'

'Jason---'

*Holds up hand to stop you* *clears throat* http://youtu.be/WrjwaqZfjIY

 

- MAYDAY MAYDAY RED ALERT I HAVE REACHED THE PART WHEN JASON DIES AND PIPER USES HER CHARMSPEAK TO CONVINCE HIM TO COME BACK THROUGH THE DOORS OF DEATH. JASON IS A RETURNED SPIRIT. IT'S GOING TO BE IMPORTANT IN BLOOD OF OLYMPUS. YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE HE FORGETS ABOUT IT HELP. JASON.

 

-At the commons area, she found Jason relaxing on a bench, a basketball between his feet.

UH OH.

PERCY 'BALL IS LIFE' JACKSON

I THINK THIS MIGHT BE A CALLOUT.

YOU BETTER RUN, TROY BOLTON.

 

 

-Jason spun his basketball. YOU BEST BE BRINGING YOUR A-GAME, JACKSON.

WILL HE BE THE CHAD TO YOUR TROY? YOUR SOPHEMORE REPLACEMENT? OR WILL HE OVER THROW YOU WHEN YOU AUDITION FOR THE SCHOOL MUSICAL?

I DON'T KNOW, PERCY, YOU BETTER BE WORRIED.

 

(ps- Is thid what people mean when they say Jason is trying to be Percy? xD)

 

-Annnnnnddddd finished! Ugh I love this book.