THE BLOOD OF OLYMPUS

IT'S HERE.
IT'S HERE AND IT'S MINE.
I AM SO EXCITED BUT I CAN ALREADY TELL I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. MY LIFE IS NOW A DOWNWARD SPIRAL
(Also I'm very much aware I didn't do House of Hades but I've read that so much that it's completely fresh in my mind and I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS BOOK ANY LONGER SO DEAL WITH IT)

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- Jason hated being old.

Mother of God please don't let the opening sentence be foreshadowing.


-Why is this the shortest book in the series.

-PIPER MCQUEEN DEFEATING A FLOCK OF HARPIES ALL NY HERSELF

-JASON IS HAVING DREAMS ABOUT MAMA GRACE AND WAKING UP IN TEARS HELP ME

-Jason sweetheart can you please stop having Nico feels because you are giving me Nico feels and I HAVE ENOUGH OF THOSE ALREADY THANK YOU

-Now all he had was an old man's body, a stick, and two friends in slinky dresses.

This series continues it's reign of glory in the "Best Out of Context Sentences" Olympics.

-JASON.
JASON YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE MY FRIEND.

-"That Penelope was a hot little honey cake!"

Yeah...I'm sure that's how they phrased it in Ancient Greece...

-OH SHIT MICHEAL VARUS COMING TO FUCK SHIT UP

- OH FUCKING SHIT MAMA GRACE HAS ARRIVED YO

-I want to hug Jason very tightly right now THIS BOY NEEDS TO BE HUGGED

-JASON GRACE IF YOU COULD NOT GET STABBED THROUGH THE FUCKING HEART THAT'D BE AWESOME

-Piper caught his shoulders as he keeled sideways. "Whoa, Sparky. We need to contact the Argo II, get help."
"You haven't called me Sparky in a long time."
Piper kissed his forehead. "Stick with me and I'll insult you all you want."

Oh God my heart.

-Jason managed a weak smile. "At least it wasn't a head injury this time. I stayed conscious the whole fight."

This is an emotional scene I should not be laughing xD Oh, Jason. At least your skull is thick.

-REYNA POINT OF VIEW.
I DON'T THINK MY BODY IS READY.

-Oh my goodness the Athena Parthenos Trio is already a complete train wreck MY CHILDREN.

-MY QUEEN HAS MAGIC POWERS

-OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED IN ALBANIA I NEED TO KNOW

-Oh my God Reyna is getting sister feels for Nico mayday mayday MAYDAY

-Octavian you little shit.

-This little fucker Bryce is gonna cause a lot of shit I can feel it

-Octavian lost the ability to see the future lawl

-Hazel Levesque...that girl was something. As soon as Leo rejoined the crew in Malta, she'd known right away that Leo was hurting inside. The first chance she got, after all that mess in the House of Hades, she'd marched into Leo's cabin and said, "Spill."

HAZEL IS MY EVERYTHING OMG

-JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL I'M TOO OVERCOME WITH LEO AND CALYPSO FEELS OHMYGOD LEO IS PRECIOUS AND HE DESERVES TO FIND HER I SHOULDN'T FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS BUT I CAN LITERALLY HEAR MY HEART SQUEALING.

-After Coach Hedge left on his shadow-travel expedition, Leo had decided that his three-legged table could do just as good a job as their "adult chaperone". He had laminated Buford's tabletop with a magic scroll that projected a pint-sized holographic simulation of Coach Hedge. Mini-Hedge would stomp around on Buford's top, randomly saying things like "CUT THAT OUT!" "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" and the ever-popular "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

I JUST FELL OFF MY BED FROM LAUGHTER

-"Maybe that's the problem," Jason said. "If the goddess of victory is running rampant, torn between Greek and Roman, she might make it impossible to bring the two camps together."
"How?" Leo asked. "Start a flame war on Twitter?"

OH MY GOD.

-JASON AND PERCY ARE LITERALLY CALLING EACHOTHER BRO THIS IS WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED

-We now have cannon confirmation that both Percy and Leo watch Doctor Who. BLESS.

-UM UM UM THERE IS NOW WRITTEN CONFIRMATION THAT LEO WAS ABUSED BY HIS FOSTER FAMILIES SHIT NO MY BABY

-"Lady," he said, "could you fold your flappers, please? You're giving me a sunburn."

LEO THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ADDRESS AN ANCIENT GODDESS THAT HAS A SPEAR TRAINED ON YOU.

-"Oh, no!" Hazel wailed. "Popcorn! Our fatal weakness!"

This isn't a real book.

-PERCY JUST PROMISED LEO HE'D HELP HIM FIND CALYPSO THIS MAKES MY HEART SMILE

-Leo. Frank. Hazel. Percy.
My children.
It is one thing to literally kidnap a goddess.
But stuffing a sock in her mouth, duck taping her and threatening to let a horse eat her wings?
Guys.

-O God.
Oh my God.
NICO'S POINT OF VEIW.

-Nico and Clovis have a hidden bromance excuse me?

-"Getting some redecorating ideas?" Nico asked. "Maybe you could do your dining room in medieval monk skulls."
Hades arched an eyebrow. "I can never tell when you're joking."

Staaaaaahhhhhhhhpppp

-HADES KNOWS THAT NICO'S GAY, ACCEPTS IT, RESPECTS THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL READY TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND HE JUST WANTS NICO TO BE HAPPY.
GIVE THIS GOD AN AWARD CAUSE I'M CRYING.

-Hey, I'll get Percy to swim in the River Styx! He'll love me for that!

INHUMAN NOISES

-DID NICO JUST GET BIT BY A WEREWOLF??????? RICK NO

-PIPER GAVE FRANK A MAKEOVER I'M SCREAMING

-Why is the Hermes giant a mobster omg

-I just realized the giants are like the anti-fairies from Fairy Odd Parents.

-This is the Piper/Annabeth moment that so many slash shippers have waited for omg.

-NICO GOT RID OF HIS AVIATOR JACKET OMG NO

- T H A L I A

-The Amazons planning world domination is still my favorite thing tbh

-NICO DI ANGELO IS IN A BRIGHTLY COLORED TROPICAL SHIRT
THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

-PERSEUS JACKSON IF YOU COULD NOT GET POISIONED RIGHT NOW THAT'D BE GREAT

-Aannnnnnnddd Polybotes just got decapitated. Awesome!

-"Are you kidding me? I'm breathing in Dylan?"

JASON BABE I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BUT I JUST LAUGHED VERY LOUDLY

-PERCY JUST ADMITTED TO A SUICIDE ATTEMPT

-NICO YOU NEED TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER FETUS BECAUSE I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
(Also he was obsessed with Pirates awwwwww)

-I'M SORRY BUT HADES GAVE NICO A FRENCH ZOMBIE NAMED JULES-ALBERT TO BE HIS CHAUFFEUR AND THIS IS THE GREATEST PIECE OF INFORMATION I HAVE EVER RECIEVED

- Reyna baby awww

-AND HER COMES THE BRYCE FUCKER TO START SHIT

-Nico sweetheart please don't dissolve into nothing that could be problematic

-OH SHIT YOU GO NICO

-THEY'RE ALL EATING ICE CREAM AND BEING CUTE THIS CALM BEFORE THE STORM SHIT IS STRESSING ME OUT

-it broke Leo's feels.

I'M LITERALLY DONE HERE.

-Ayyyyy Apollo (Why wouldn't you send Percy to talk to Apollo. They have a bromance)

-Are Apollo and Artemis going through the 7th Grade emo phase right now

-The Valdezinator

-Leo, Jason and Piper are killing this thing with inspiration from their times playing Mario Party Six HELP ME

-YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE BEEN MENTALLY ENVISIONING JASON IN GLASSES SINCE DAY ONE AND NOW IT'S CANNON. BLESS. DREAMS DO COME TRUE. HE MUST LOOK SO HOT.

-TYSON TO THE RESCUE

-Oh shit the siege on CHB has started I need someone to hold me

-PERCY YOU DON'T JUST LET SNAKE MEN ON YOUR SHIP BECAUSE THEY HAVE CAKE

-"Like your zodiac sign?" Percy asked. "I'm a Leo."
"No, stupid," Leo said. "I'm a Leo. You're a Percy."

Oh my God.

-HELL YEAH PIPER MY BEAAUTIFUL CHEROKEE AMERICAN IDOL

-"And my dad's relatives...I haven't thought about them in years. I have an Uncle and cousin in Boston."
Percy looked shocked. "You, with the Yankees cap? You've got family in Red Sox country?"
Annabeth smiled weakly. "I never see them. My dad and my uncle don't get along. Some old rivalry. I don't know. It's stupid what keeps people apart."

MAGNUS CHASE I'VE GOT YOU YOU LITTLE FUCKER.

-PERCY FINALLY SAID I LOVE YOU TO ANNABETH AND I'M CRYING

-PERSEUS JACKSON AND ANNABETH CHASE HOW DARE YOU ACTUALLY ALLOW YOURSEVES TO GET CAPTURED BY THE FUCKING GIANTS THAT WANT TO SACRIFICE YOU

-SLAY, PIPER, SLAY.

-Piper's biggest advantages: she was small, she was quick, and she was absolutely insane.

MY INSPIRATION AND MY SPIRIT I BELIEVE IN YOU GIRL I'D FOLLOW YOU INTO NOTHINGNESS

-OH MOTHERFUCK GAEA IS AWAKE RETREAT RETREAT RE-FUCKING-TREAT

-SWEET JESUS LORD ALMIGHTY IS RICK ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE WILL SOLACE AND NICO A CANNON SHIP SEND HELP MY HEART ISN'T BEATING

-JESUS HE IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE THIS CANNON OH MY GOODNESS THERE IS A SHRIEK BUBBLING IN MY THROAT BUT I DON'T WANT TO SCARE M ROOMMATE UGH

-THE GODS ARE HERE

-MY KICK ASS BABIES

-REYNA AND PIPER ARE HAVING A BROMANCE

-OH MY GOD THE ROMANS ARE CALLING OUT ALL THESE ORGANIZED ATTACKS AND PERCY JUST YELLED "GREEKS! LET'S, UM, FIGHT STUFF!"

-from Festus's back, Leo blasted the goddess with flames of his own and hurled insults. "Pottly Sludge! Dirt Face! THIS IS FOR MY MOTHER, ESPERANZA VALDEZ!"

WOOO LEO YOU GO BABE

-LEO YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF A BADASS MOTHER FUCKER AND I HAVE NEVER LOVED A CHARACTER THE WAY I LOVE YOU ALRIGHT

-Travis Stoll ran past, arguing with his brother. "What do you mean we set the land mines on the wrong hill?"

G U Y S

-OCTAVIAN IS FINALLY DEAD AND IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL AND MAGICAL DEATH BLESS EVERYTHING

-HEDGE AND MELLIE NAMED THE BABY CHUCK AWWWW

-Nico and Hazel continue to crush my soul with cuteness. Also FRANK IS GOING TO LIVE A LONG TIME

-Jason's glasses are still my fAVORITE THING

-JASON AND NICO ARE BROHUGGING

-NICO TOLD PERCY
N I C O  T O L D  P E R C Y
NICO TOLD PERCY

-ANNABETH HIGH FIVED HIM AFTER HE TOLD PERCY

-LEO BROUGHT HIMSELF BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE HE IS GENUINELY BETTER THAN EVERYONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

-Leo whooped so loudly they probably heard him in China. "YEAH! WHO DIED? WHO CAME BACK? WHO'S YOUR FREAKIN' SUPERSIZED McSHIZZLE NOW, BABY? WOOOOOOOOO!"

I'm crying tears of joy help.

-LEO AND CALYPSO ARE REUNITED AND MY HEART IS GRINNING AND THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES HELP.

-OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDDD I FINISHED IT

THAT WAS FUCKING PHENOMNENAL